I wish I could find it and root it out. Maybe I could get rid of the weight in my mind. It won't stop dragging. I want to dig it out and make the dull ache go away with a sharp pain.
It will stop eventually. Then I can go on.
I always harboured the dreams and fantasies. Now I begin to see some of them fade away into something that will never happen. It's made me lost touch with all of them.
I need to catch them again.

Great art. Glenn Barr

Our move to the city is self-limiting behavior. We lose sight of the stars and the infinite expanse beyond our perception. It automatically limits our interest in expansion.
It could be one of the many causes of our turn inward and the great rise of the self in the U.S. But I am not a social psychologist.

I've been starting to look at the world in such a non-absolute way. I think part of it is John's influence.
Awesome. Thermal keypad combo snooping

Hilarious and scary as he always is: Bush Words.

Okaaaayyyyy..... Drawer pull in the shape of an angry baby's head
A WORKING V8-Engine Paper Model
Dinosaur was particularly relevant to me today. Dinosaur Comics: #666 (The "what about the internet?" part, not the mousey).

I've been reading The Emperor Wears No Clothes: The Authoritative Historical Record of Cannabis and the Conspiracy Against Marijuana. It makes me want to move to Canada. And I don't even smoke. It's just the attitude that pervades the U.S. The "Bible Belt" is just too big and full of too many bigots. And the crime rate comparisons are ridiculous, especially for violent crimes. It makes living in the U.S. seem almost suicidal. And when the oil runs out (because the U.S. won't stop until it runs out even if it kills the ecosystem) there will be a huge economic collapse. And unfortunatly it could take a large section of the internet with it. That could set our technological progress back a generation...
As far as GOOD news goes, I had a creme brulee at the Co-Op today and it was Divine. As in transexual. SO good.

New Lemur Species Named After John Cleese And well one should be.
Yay! Engrish!
So freaky... Fears Photoshop contest

Now that's tough. Hardy lichen shown to survive in space

I can almost feel it. I can almost see it.
It's hiding in the ether just a candle flame's width away.
It's so near along the axis of time, just perpendicular to everything.
Robot limbs will be getting faster muscles. 1000 times faster than human muscle. Want bionic arms and legs now?
"Jesus didn't believe in judging people so how dare you judge me. Do you think you're better than Jesus? Well you're wrong. Because me, and all of my friends who are better than Jesus discussed it, and agreed that you're not." -- from the T-Shirt Hell newsletter
All that and a fancy wood knot that looks like a vagina from a table in the Co-Op.

WTF? JC's Girls Girls Girls
This was wonderful to read: I Cthulhu (Neil Gaiman)
And in case anyone wonders where the Pirate Monkey Robot came from, it's here: Goats 2003-10-29
The funny thing is that is the only mention of it. So it really came from nowhere and has a recursive definition. Mmmm... Recursion.

This is hilarious: Schwarzenegger Street
Interesting.... Peyote Won't Rot Your Brain

BWA HA HA HA!!!!! Handheld Laser Gun available for purchase
TunnelRat might like this: Iran Electronics Industries
Found a great new webcomic: Hello Cthulhu (This is a good example)
I love Juxtapoz Magazine.
Dinosaur Comics is on a roll recently. Check outthe latest entry. (Megan-san and Guru, look at this.)

One of my fave comics, dinosaur comics, rocked today. More than even the usual rockage.

I had a perfect childhood. As perfect as anyone could ask for. I grew up in a happy christian family where we all loved and cared for each other. I felt respected and loved for who I was. My brothers and I never fought. Not really. There were tears and hurt feelings, sure. But it was never hateful.
My father was always there with correction and hugs and playing. He was gone a lot commercial fishing, but I never felt like he was not really there. I look up to him as a totally devoted family man.
I was homeschooled by my mother until high school, and i attribute my success in highschool and college to her. She was always there with a hug when I felt bad and always took care of me when I was sick.
My parents never had to spank me. They just told me what I had done wrong and why it was wrong, and they explained it so well that I understood and felt bad enough to not do it again.
It's hard for me to see so much pain and so many fucked up people in the world. I know what physical pain is as much as anyone, and I have some deep emotional wounds from some relationships. But it seems piddling compared to the physical, verbal and sexual abuse that people I talk to have gone through. I have been lied to, decieved, tricked, and betrayed. But I have never been put down by someone I love, told I was worthless, or that I am a drain.
I have cut and pierced my own body and had other do it. I have hung from metal hooks several times and liked it. But I have never been forcefully penetrated, beaten in anger, or struck with hate.
I have learned to control the physical pain. It makes my perception of the world clearer and sharper and in focus. I don't do it to wipe out emotional pain, I do it to feel, experience, and understand.
I've screwed up some past relationships by trying to be the healer.
But some wounds never seem to heal no matter how much you pour into it. Some people don't seem to know how to heal.
It usually just ended up wearing me out and killing the relationship.
If this helps anyone understand me any better, that is good.